Babyshambles star Pete Doherty has been invited to make a keynote speech at Manchester's Conservative Party Conference which begins on Monday.
"We've long wanted to get Mr Peter Doherty aboard", confessed a party activist. "We see him as a fine example for the talented youth of today, particularly since he's made such efforts to get himself off the Aspirin".
"Mr Doherty has been offered a free platform to debate either health issues, street crime or education", he explained. "The entire Shadow Cabinet is agreed that Peter Doherty has the potential to become a Conservative MP because he's in touch with the public and is extremely popular with the vital youth sector of the electorate.
Asked today what subject he'd decided to talk about, Pete Doherty was non-committal. "What's it matter to anyone", he said. "Thing about me joining the Tories is they're OK about creative people like me having more than one job", he explained.
"I've been wanting to duet with Ken Clarke for years and he's already signed for the next Babyshambles tour", he revealed. "Anyone who likes cigars, jazz and beer is a natural friend of mine. Also, William Hague's a bit nippy on the piano so he'll be joining us whenever he's not titting about as Foreign Secretary. Pity he doesn't do coke though".
It's just been announced that Pete Doherty's Conference speech will be on Prison Reform and will be delivered on either Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.